5 Ways Employees Try To Beat Their Drug Tests

Announcing a drug test can cause workers to panic. They may try some underhanded methods to test negative. Here are five ways employees try to beat their drug tests—and why they shouldn’t bother.

Shaved by the Bell?

A hair follicle test requires about 100 strands of hair for an adequate sample size. Obviously, the galaxy-brain response to this would be not to have 100 strands to furnish: you can’t fail a hair test if you have no hair, right? Thus, we sometimes see a surprising number of employees showing up completely devoid of hair. Maybe they’ll claim that they’re training for a triathlon and need to become more aerodynamic for the swimming leg—a likely story, in some cases. Alas, the logic that leads one to go hairless for a hair test is faulty: there’s no legal loophole here that grants the subject a free pass. It could even constitute a failure to submit. In these cases, employers can ask for nail samples instead.

A Dye-r Situation

Another common way that enterprising employees have devoted their talents to circumventing a test is to arrive for a hair test sporting a brand-new hair color. The idea behind this is that the pigments in the dye will cover up any indicators that the test looks for or that bleaching the hair will destroy them altogether. Many people wonder how hair dye affects hair tests, but testing technology is more sophisticated than what’s on the shelf at your local drugstore. It’s tough to bleach your way out of a test for the same reason you can’t shave your way out.

pH Modification: A Basic Trick

An important property in chemistry is puissance de hydrogen, or pH: the measure of how acidic or alkaline a substance is. Some test-takers believe that by modifying their urine sample’s pH, they may fool the lab. In this spirit, they might try contaminating their sample with cleaning chemicals or excreting more acidic urine by drinking a lot of orange juice or pickle brine. However, urine tests are more sophisticated than a mere pH reading.

Switching Out the Sample

Rather than guzzle pickle brine, some subjects may just use synthetic urine or even have their pet furnish the sample on their behalf. Labs are used to these tricks. Testing protocols include stages that detect non-human, non-natural samples, rendering this subterfuge ineffective, embarrassing, and dangerous to continued employment.

Crash Detox Diet

Upon the announcement of forthcoming testing, one of the most common ways employees try to beat their drug test is to do some physiological cramming. To purge any remnants of drug use, they go on a mad dash of overhydration and overexertion, hoping to flush out and sweat out the toxins. Opting for hair tests doesn’t just provide the longest and truest window of drug use; it also protects subjects from themselves—none of these potentially dangerous measures will trick these tests.