Photo by @evertonvila
Relationships make up all of our lives. Without relationships, none of us would be here! Part of living and leading a life that is meaningful, you need relationships with others. Some start off as friendships, but then lead into something more. This article covers some concepts of when your feelings for another person approach a new level.
When You Catch Feelings
No-strings-attached relationships can sound great initially, but, sometimes after spending extra time together, these relationships can become more complicated than expected – especially if sex is introduced into the dynamic. Developing feelings for someone you are intimate with is normal, but if you went into this relationship with other expectations, what happens next?
In a new study, Superdrug Online Doctor surveyed 1,023 Americans and Britons who had experience with friends-with-benefits relationships. They revealed whether the relationship ended and what happened along the way. Here are some of the highlights from the study.
Entering a Friends-With-Benefits Relationship
Friends-with-benefits situations can begin in many different ways. Whether two people were friends or strangers beforehand, there is usually a discussion about expectations before the relationship starts.
The survey revealed that people had an average of 2.5 friends-with-benefits experiences. The average duration of participants’ most recent friends-with-benefits relationship was 8.5 months, but women (9 months) reported slightly longer coupling than men (8.1 months).
Slightly more than 3 in 4 people were platonic friends when entering their friends-with-benefits relationship. Nearly half (47.9%) of women entered these relationships with hopes of it becoming more, while just 34.5% of men had the same aspirations.
Sex Between Friends
How often were people having sex in mutually beneficial relationships? On average, respondents reported having intercourse 6.5 times per month with their most recent partner. Over 40% of both men (45.7%) and women (44.5%) agreed that the quality of sex with a friend with benefits was equally as good as having intercourse with a committed partner. Approximately 1 in 4 men and 22.3% of women said that sex with a friend was actually better than sex in a committed relationship.
According to the study, women were about 10 percentage points more likely than men to practice safe sex with a friend with benefits than with a committed partner. Both men and women said the perceived chemistry with their friend with benefits was moderately strong.
Catching Feelings
Did people develop feelings for their friends while partaking in a friends-with-benefits relationship? Approximately 3 in 5 people admitted to catching feelings. Just 39.8% of people said they did not develop romantic feelings. Women (65.3%) were more likely than men (56%) to find themselves in this situation.
These feelings can cause people to release pheromones. Wondering exactly what are pheromones? Well, pheromones are similar to hormones in that they produce chemicals that affect a person but, unlike hormones, work outside of the body. They induce activity in other individuals, such as sexual arousal - and you can even buy pheromones to apply onto your skin to further encourage these responses from the person you are seeing.
Once someone realized their feelings, what happened next? About half of men (49.2%) and women (51.5%) ignored their feelings and continued with the agreed-upon relationship. Men (40.8%) were more likely than women (36.9%) to confess their feelings. And women (11.6%) were slightly more likely than men (10%) to end the relationship because of new feelings coming to light.
Among those who confessed their feelings, 61.9% said the person admitted to developing feelings for them also.
Emotional Aftermath
Have people spent time with their “beneficial partner” without having sex? About 75% of people said they did. If the relationship included time spent together without sex, 35.6% of those sexual relationships fizzled out on their own. But if people solely spent one-on-one time together to have sex, 44.5% of those entanglements ended naturally.
Nearly 1 in 3 friends-with-benefits relationships exclusively for sex ended because one of the participants decided to call it quits. Less than 1% of people who went into a partnership like this ended up being engaged or married, compared to the 2.5% of those who got engaged to or married the person they spent time with outside from having sex.
Overall, 17.1% of people reported their most recent friends-with-benefits relationship became a committed one.
Navigating these relationships can be difficult, but with honesty, open discussions, and self-reflection, they can work. Most people who had partnered with a “beneficial friend” enjoyed it enough to do it more than once. And many who confessed feelings were ultimately rewarded. We never really know where we will find love, so sometimes looking to a friend could be worth trying.